My deepest apologies…

June 6, 2011 § 2 Comments

How much do you hate me for not tweeting at all during the MTV Movie Awards? Not that much? Great… I love you and your undying devotion. You hate me so much you can’t even bear the thought of me typing these very words? I love you and your kind of dying devotion equally.

Truth is, I didn’t watch the awards last night. GASP! I know, astronomic disappointment on this side of the internet. My family was being all family-ly and watching something else together. So I had to opt with recording it and watching it this evening in full. I actually preferred it a little more so I could fast forward the painful, agonizing scenes with Robert Pattinson. Nevertheless, the show had it’s moments and I am going to talk about them. Onward!

Opening: love me some movie clip montage/parodies. love me some movie clip montage/parodies that include Justin Timberlake. Jason Sudeikis did a sufficient job at bringing some laughs. Not the best host I’ve seen, but he was fine.

Jim Carrey: the lord of the MTV Movie Awards. Sorcerer of all things funny and shocking. Please watch: (quality sucks. sorry.)

that’s right. a green screen suit. funny. shocking. funny.

now watch this: (start at 4:12) (yes, the quality sucks. again.)

come on. this is just funny. so funny.

Small Children: Alexys Nychole Taylor is by far the most adorable child on the face of the planet. Won her popcorn for “I want to get chocolate wasted!” I cannot find her little speech online – watch the replay of the awards tomorrow at 3pm. Or just record it so you can watch how adorable she is. And the rewind it and watch it again because you couldn’t hear it from all the squealing.

Twi-dumb: Twilight swept up. And when I say swept up I mean that their stupid fans sat a computer and voted all day. Dumb. I have a few things to say about this. 1) My Harry Potter fans did not prevail. Come on now kids! Best Villian is all we got? Get with it. 2) Robert Pattinson has no ability to speak in public. Or deliver jokes. Or stand still. Or look like he showered. Or present himself in a positive light whatsoever. 3) Taylor. Lautner’s. Neck. He is actually a brontosaurus. Seriously.


 That’s all I’ve got for today, chaps.

 

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§ 2 Responses to My deepest apologies…

  • Brianna says:

    You forgot to mention how Kristin Stewart looks like she’s on drugs ALL THE TIME and doesn’t brush her hair nor can she speak in public….

  • maureen says:

    1. i was eating skittles while reading this, and i laughed so hard i spit them out, sticky computer, ick. 2. i wanted to punt something every time kristen or robert said something along the lines of “BOOYAH I WON SUCK IT” 3. kristen stewarts shoes. and dress. and face. WTF?!

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